The edge is where things happen. Every incident the Bureau has ever replicated began at one and ended on the floor below it.
The first recorded complaint about the edge was written, according to our archive, by a scribe in a library who lost a quill. The cat of that library has no name in the record. We call her Ancient Whiskers, as a courtesy.
The edge has changed over time. It has been round, square, bevelled and, in one regrettable decade, glass. None of these designs stopped a cat. A rounded edge simply made the object roll more gracefully.
Modern edges are the most dangerous because they look safe. A smooth, polished, modern edge has the friction of a frozen pond. The Bureau regards this as good news, since it means business.
The Edge In Art
Painters have long depicted the edge, usually with a cat on it. The Bureau owns a small collection of such works, each showing a feline in a pose of mild menace. One painting, titled Lunch Break, shows a cat and a jug with the title written in the cat’s handwriting.
Edge Maintenance
The Bureau recommends against polishing edges. A well polished edge is a quicker edge. Instead, we suggest leaving them slightly sticky, which our members describe as a pleasant, slow torture for the cat.
The Future Of The Edge
We predict the edge will remain exactly as it is: a very small place where large things happen. Please visit our Gallery of Edges on the first Friday of the month. Admission is free if you bring a jug.
A Visitor Remark
A member of the public once asked the Bureau whether the edge was not simply the end of the table. We replied that this was a very human view, and we sent him a certificate of apology to cheer him up. He framed it. It fell.
We close with the founding principle of the Bureau: what has an edge will, in time, have a cat beside it.
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